Kernelless Metal

It's so metal.

Bare metal is the best metal, and there's no computer faster than a bare metal computer without a kernel. It took us a long time to figure out how to run kernelless code on a bare metal cloud, so let us do it for you. This is kind of like how Google is 90 years head of everyone else with computers, except we are like 1000 years ahead of Google.

We can't help how badass we are. Don't be a hater.

Whenever people come to us to give us ridiculous sums of money to run their code for free, they all ask the same question. Over and over and over and over again, always the same damn thing.

"Isn't bare metal faster?"

You bet your fucking ass it is. That's why we only use bare metal. Our cloud is nothing but bare metal. There's not even a kernel on there, so there can't be any virtual machines. There aren't even unikernels. That's what kernelless MEANS, okay?

Look. We're not trying to jerk anyone around here. We're really on to something, and if you are on to it too, then just give us your money and your code already.